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Dealing with staff conflicts and having difficult conversations is one of the toughest parts of the child care business. Still, it's absolutely necessary if you want to retain high-quality staff and maintain an amazing work culture. 

Some of the issues that may warrant a tough conversation with an employee in a daycare business are but are not limited to:

• not following protocol- ratios, schedule, training, supervision, etc. voice level, impatience, or anger

•  providing poor care

•  negativity 

• showing disrespect

•  poor attendance

•  poor work ethic, lazy, not pulling their weight, poor social skills or communication skills, withholding information

•  gossip & bickering 

When you know that you have an underperforming staff member or an issue that needs to be addressed, it's time to pull them aside and have a one-on-one meeting.

Here's how to navigate the tough conversation:

1. Handle promptly-Do not run or avoid conflict. If you don't deal with an underperforming staff member urgently, you are sending a message that this performance or behavior is acceptable. In addition, it gives a bad impression to both that individual and the rest of your team. You should try to speak to the employee as soon as possible once the issue has come to your attention. 

2. Approach from a positive mindset- Be in the right state of mind. For example, do not approach staff when you are frustrated or angry. Instead, make sure you are calm and relaxed. Prepare notes if needed and think about what you will say beforehand.

3. Handle the matter privately- Pick a private place to discuss with no distractions or other listening ears. 

4. Lead with empathy- Be mindful that personal matters may go on outside of work. They must see your heart and know you care. Keep in mind that you have a responsibility to create an environment of learning and growth as a leader, not one of fear. Make sure your motive is to benefit the person and make them better. Try to start the conversation by saying something positive about the staff member or something they are doing right.

5. Be specific- Let them know what happened to warrant the discussion. Get to the point within 30 seconds, and Instead of just speaking in broad terms, be as specific about the issue as you can; be prepared with notes or documentation showing exactly where the problem lies. If the employee is not complying with company policy, have the policy on hand. The discussion should leave absolutely no room for misinterpretation.

6. Let them be heard- After you let them know what you have observed or the issue, let your staff express their thoughts and feelings. Ask 1 or 2 of these questions to start the conversation, get them to open up to you, and let them know that you are there to support them.

   Ask 1 or 2 of these questions:

• Is there anything I can do to help you with (issue)?

•  Do you feel like you have been properly supported?

• Is there anything that is frustrating you about your job?

• Are there any areas that you feel ill-equipped for?

• Are there any external factors that could be affecting your work?

• Do you feel optimistic about your future with us? Are you happy here? 

• Is there anything else you want to share with me? 

7. Give Expectations- Set up an action plan with outcomes for both scenarios. Let them know what needs to change or be adjusted and what you expect from them moving forward. Let them know what you will do to help them achieve your desired results. Let them know what will happen if they do not make the changes needed. You should be sending a clear message and explaining your expectations in an easily understood way. Give them a timeline, action steps, and the follow-up date that you will check back in with them. 

8. Conclude the meeting- Close the conversation with words of appreciation and understanding. You may want to ensure that they understand the action steps to take moving forward. 

9. Schedule a follow up- schedule another one-on-one meeting at the time discussed. Usually, 1- 4 weeks is a reasonable time frame depending on the situation. Before the meeting, assess the previous problem area and see if it has been resolved or has improved based on your knowledge. Prepare your thoughts in advance, and once in the meeting, ask the following questions. 

Follow-up questions to ask: 

• How are things going?

• How are you progressing on the action items we set last time?

• Do you have any thoughts or questions about our last discussion?

• How are you feeling overall about your work environment?

• How do you feel since we last spoke?

• Are you struggling with anything in particular? 

If your employee's performance has improved, acknowledge that the issue has been resolved and discuss how to maintain the improvements. Continue to offer support and encouragement. 

If your employee's performance hasn't improved, you have 4 options: 

1. extend, revise, or repeat the process (consider a written warning) 

2. reduce hours or make them a substitute

3. change their position or class

4. terminate employment 

Conclusion:

Dealing with tough conversations promptly and effectively will keep workplace morale up, relay your standards on what you will and will not tolerate, and build trust with other employees.

Need help with all things staffing? Ultimate Staffing Blueprint is a complete step-by-step blueprint for attracting, hiring, and retaining high-quality staff for your child care business while creating a rock-solid team and positive work culture.

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